Bankrupt R&B Singer Toni Braxton: I Have Three Cars

According to a story in the Toronto Sun, six-time Grammy winner and two-time bankruptcy filer Toni Braxton has and does a lot of cool stuff.  And she’s not going to let something as trite as humility get in the way of spreading the good news.  According to the Sun, Braxton, who is about to launch a new reality series on the We TV network, was recently quoted as saying, “I have a big-ass house, three cars, and I fly first class all around the world. Some say I have the perfect life.”  No word on whether Braxton is considering legally changing her name to Brag-ston.

Here is where we would normally discuss smart things, like the obvious failure of the means test in the new, post-reform bankruptcy laws. Or how having the right lawyer can still leave creditors holding the bag. But I think you’re more interested in the other details. Here’s some more straightforward bankruptcy news. Now, look at Toni:

Yes, an entire building

While there is hope that Braxton’s new true-life Tee-Vee programming will reverse her financial fortunes, she will of course be competing with other hard-hitting We programming including “Sinbad: It’s Just Family,” “The Golden Girls,” six shows about cakes (including one of the cup variety), and fourteen shows about brides, bridesmaids, mother-in-laws, veils, and/or wedding gowns.  Oooh, Toni: that’s a steep hill to climb.  And Estelle Getty, even from the grave, is no patsy.

At 43, Braxton has averaged one Grammy every 4.1 years and one bankruptcy filing every 12.5 years of her adult life.  At this rate, odds in put the Over/Under at 4 for Grammys and 2.5 for bankruptcy filings during the remainder of Braxton’s career.

All bets are off, however, if she re-mixes her #1 single “Un-Break My Heart” as “Un-Break My Bank Account” for an upcoming release of Electric Piano Hero: R&B Edition.